The Horse Whisperer gets in a coughing fit..

The Horse Whisperer gets in a coughing fit..

Ferrari’s innominate Horse Whisperer has spoken out again today, choosing this time the subject of ‘allergies’ as the Formula One circus returns to Europe. It doesn’t take much to rile the Horse Whisperer and with spring in the air, the Whisperer’s immune system is responding to a whole series of antigens.

Without further ado, here’s what’s he had to say..

The Horse Whisperer – Spring, the time of allergies

With Spring coming into bloom, allergies become ever more acute. Even the Horse Whisperer has been affected, albeit with a very special type, which creates a bad reaction to rubbish.

The environment in which the Horse Whisperer usually operates, Formula 1, is a particularly fertile area for this type of illness, which can manifest itself in a whole host of ways, as we have seen over the past few weeks.

One of the most prevalent symptoms focuses on driver salaries and team budgets, an allergy especially localised in England. The Horse Whisper’s nose got particularly ticklish when reading figures relating to how much the so-called experts reckoned that Felipe and Fernando took off Ferrari: for example, the Spaniard is reckoned to touch 26 million Euros which is obviously pure fantasy.

The Whisperer also had a coughing fit when having to wade through considered opinion as to which team has the biggest budget: the visionaries from across the Channel, always ready to point the finger at Maranello as the biggest spenders, would do well to look closer to home.

The final form this allergy can take – and it almost floored the poor old Whisperer – can now be considered a chronic one, as it latches on to which driver might replace Massa at the wheel of the Red car. It dates back to 2006, when Felipe was first a Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro driver that this virulent allergy has led people to speculate whether this driver or that one will replace the Brazilian.

In a mutation of the allergy for 2011, no less than three names are put forward for candidature: Mark Webber, a constant name on the list since the start of the year, then Jenson Button, joining the ranks in China and now, we also have Nico Rosberg.

Needless to say, it is just rubbish, the sort that gives you really bad allergies.